So I started this blog to keep up with my journey into Gastric Sleeve surgery. I supposed I should have started it several months ago when the process actually began.. this is something that anyone who knows me knows I have struggled with for many years.. MY WEIGHT!
Up and down like a seesaw.. thats where my weight has been for the last few years.. i have struggled with doing really good then doing really bad.. and then me giving up or giving in to the demons within me.. well back in April I told greg some of my fears and i signed up for an information seminar at Nash Surgical Weight Loss Center.. the next seminar was going to be in May and they would send me a packet of information....lord did they!
(btw.. when i get to writing.. i dont capitalize or use periods.. you will find this throughout all of my blogging lol)
so i got the packet and it overwhelmed me but i had a dr appt before the seminar so i thought.. ill take to her about it too.. i was really thinking about the lapband and even got in touch with a hs friend who had it done to get some opinions.. she was very receptive and very helpful and omg.. so supportive.. so i talked to my dr who thought it was not a bad idea (surgery that is) but stated that she hated the lap band.. so i went back to studying.. still thinking this is what i wanted.. then i went to the seminar.. scared to death and scared of being turned away.. see BCBS states that if you are not over 40 bmi that you have to have comorbities.. well i have them but not what they consider to be comorbities.. i was about 7-8 lbs shy of the 40 bmi.. well needless to say .. quitting nicotine and having some food funerals took care of that!
but the PA there stated that I was a good candidate and that we would just go through the process and see what happens.. for one thing my knees would love me. (a year ago i had bilateral (meaning double) knee replacement surgery due to horrible arthritis)..
so i sat through the seminar and was overwhelmed even more and then i got this big ole binder and found out i needed to get off of nicotine (even though i wasnt smoking i was vaping 3 mg) then i found out that i would need to go to a BUNCH of appts to make sure i would be a candidate and then .. MUCH later down the road i would meet with a surgeon and THEN much LATER down the road I would get a surgery date.. IF and ONLY IF i was approved by insurance.
so i waited and finally in the mail came my appts for an endoscopy, cardiac appt, pulmunary appt, nutrition appts, psychological appts, and i needed to attend at least one support group meeting prior to meeting with my surgeon.. and i wouldnt get a date for that until all the other appts were done. AND for that appt my hubby would need to go too.
well let me tell you what i learned.. i learned that surgery is the FURTHEST thing from the easy way out.. i learned that its not a quick process.. i learned that patience is a virtue and i learned that my life would change forever!
i learned that i would learn to eat all over again.. i learned that i would learn to love exercise and lifting weights or i wouldnt find success.. i learned that the circle is big and the information is grand and that if you read too much you will go crazy.. and i learned NOT to be ashamed of my choices and I learned that i have an awesome family who loves me alot and i learned that a man who has never struggled has no clue what its like to struggle..
i also learned that true love.. real true love.. the kind of love that is completely and utterly messed up and far from perfect.. but is real.. truly does love the heart.. my hubs loves me completely just as i am and for that i am thankful. but he is also supportive of me getting healthy..
i learned that you never know when you may open your mouth and find out that you are not alone in this journey.. just by recognizing someones symbol on a shirt you may find a new friend..
i learned that true friends love you and support you and are happy for you.. i learned that your kids worry more about you and love you for who you are completely and more than you realize..
i learned that other WLS people are so supportive and helpful.
i learned that this is my new journey.. this is my new belief.. i learned that i will make it..
and above all i learned to BELIEVE AND SLEEVE...
come November 10th.. i will have my surgery and the fun begins.. lol.. so join me for the ride.. the frustrations.. the anger.. the joy.. the fun.. the not so fun.. the fact that ill still be on a liquid diet at Thanksgiving and im still doing this.. join me to see how it goes!!!
